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Misplaced Your Mojo?

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carrot on a stickA lot of readers tell me their biggest hurdle in getting organized is motivation.  (Yes, I actually did a poll). 

Do you feel like your motivation is something that’s out of your control?  I know exactly how you feel.  But I have to keep telling myself that it’s not true. 

You can control your own motivation, and all it takes is increasing your level of interest and awareness in what affects it.  If you care about improving your motivation, you can.  And I’m not talking about listening to some ra ra motivational hype.

External motivation won’t stick.

Drinking a tiny glass of beerI got an email today from a subscriber in response to my article about stuff to do at the end of the year.  I talked about New Years Resolutions.  She referred to a comment made by the Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, at the cricket the other day, about drinking sensibly, as a resolution for the New Year.

This is a scary issue to write about.  It’s scary because even mentioning it or reading about it puts us face to face with our own worries and weaknesses about drinking alcohol.

Now, don’t call the cops, but it is a lovely warm sunny day here in Melbourne Australia, (I offer guiltily as my excuse), and I do have a cold alcoholic beverage in front of me right now as I type.  I’m not driving anywhere.

Without going into detail or argument about the recommended amount of alcohol doctors and scientists recommend we should limit ourselves to, depending on whether we are young, female or male etc, I offer my thoughts about ways to cut down, limit or control the amount of alcohol we consume.

Lola's birth

These birth stories are frank and very personal accounts.  They are most likely to be of interest to expectant parents, particularly pregnant women, or to doulas, midwives and people with a particular interest in childbirth.  Please ensure you are comfortable with frank discussion about the physical and emotional aspects of pregnancy and birth before deciding to read further.

This is the story of the birth of my first child.  It was a planned homebirth.  The labour lasted about 12 hours and both mother and baby were fine, no intervention or drugs being required.  This account was written in 1992.

Ruth's birth

These birth stories are frank and very personal accounts.  They are most likely to be of interest to expectant parents, particularly pregnant women, or to doulas, midwives and people with a particular interest in childbirth.  Please ensure you are comfortable with frank discussion about the physical and emotional aspects of pregnancy and birth before deciding to read further.


This is the story of the birth of my second child.  It was a planned homebirth.  The labour lasted about 12 hours and both mother and baby were fine, no intervention or drugs being required.  I didn’t write this birth story at the time, because I was so busy working.  My memory is quite clear about how I felt, but there’s not so much detail.  I think I wrote this when pregnant with Angus, so it would have been 2004, but the birth took place in 1997.

Angus' birth

These birth stories are frank and very personal accounts.  They are most likely to be of interest to expectant parents, particularly pregnant women, or to doulas, midwives and people with a particular interest in childbirth.  Please ensure you are comfortable with frank discussion about the physical and emotional aspects of pregnancy and birth before deciding to read further.

This is the story of the birth of my third child.  It was a planned hospital birth in a public hospital in Melbourne, Australia.  The labour lasted about 12 hours, and both mother and baby were fine, no intervention or drugs being required, though Angus did need some suction to clear fluids.  This account was written in 2004.

Asha and Lauren's births

These birth stories are frank and very personal accounts.  They are most likely to be of interest to expectant parents, particularly pregnant women, or to doulas, midwives and people with a particular interest in childbirth.  Please ensure you are comfortable with frank discussion about the physical and emotional aspects of pregnancy and birth before deciding to read further.

This is the story of the births of my youngest children, twins Asha and Lauren. 

This was a vaginal birth in a public hospital in Melbourne, Australia, of monochorionic diamniotic twins, that is, they were identical twins sharing a placenta, and each in their own amniotic sac.  I was 39 years old and had 3 children already, all born naturally with no complications.

Giving birth to twins vaginally is not an easy thing to achieve, even for someone who has given birth naturally before and is in good health with healthy babies.  A twins birth means fighting all the way if you don't want an automatic C-section, and I encourage mothers of twins to not take it lying down (literally).  I hope this story helps and encourages other mothers to stand up for themselves and their babies and have a say in what goes on with their birth.

Shark and goldfishThere are a number of ways to make money on the internet, whether it’s selling e-Books, a membership site, a site that makes money from advertising, selling software tools, or selling your time and expertise as a consultant, developer, trainer, designer, or writer. 

The great thing about an internet business is that it is not necessary to have any physical product which requires shipping, storing or production.  We tend to deal in digital products, information products, software tools and so on.  We sell our writing, our knowledge, our research.  And a lot of internet marketers are just selling plain old rubbish – a bit like the stuff you get from those long TV commercials, stuff you never knew you needed, and that doesn’t work when you get it.

Those of us selling information products first research a market and choose a niche.  The niche might be about building birdhouses, parenting, housekeeping, or personal improvement.  Choosing a small niche with enough people searching for information about that topic, and providing them with the information they are looking for, is a great strategy for starting an internet business, as any of the gurus will tell you. 

One of the biggest niches is, of course “how to make money on the internet”.  It’s right up there with weight loss as one of the biggest and most competitive markets.  It’s also one of the sleaziest, dirtiest markets with the widest array of absolute rubbish and rip offs available for the gullible, desperate and naïve to choose from.

PeacockSelf esteem is such an issue for so many people, me included.  If we can get it to a healthy happy place, our life is so much better.

But it’s affected by so many things, different things for different people, and different things for each of us as we change and grow throughout our lives, or succumb to the bombardment of influences and information we’re presented with in this modern world.

Some of my main self esteem affecting factors are:-

 - My appearance.  Yes, I’m a vain woman obsessed with ageing, my weight, my hair, my wrinkles and general attractiveness.  There’s a lot of it about.

- How my children are behaving.  Are they all healthy, happy, doing well in school and kinder, having fun, have nice friends, safe, enjoying their lives?  Are they getting on with each other, with me, being polite, doing their chores, minding their manners?

- How my house looks.  Is it clean, tidy, well organized, do I know where everything is and is the clutter under control?

Woman looks sadly at her reflection in a windowIf you're anything like me, your self esteem at times can be up and down all over the place.  It's no fun, is it.

What is self esteem anyway?  I've marked it as a category topic for this blog, because it's something I know matters a lot and I want to explore it.  Is it just our mood?  Is it habits of thought?  Is it our underlying beliefs about ourselves?

Yes, it's all these things and more, I think.

Mood must be involved, because it changes with our mood.  I know when I'm feeling positive generally I have much more confidence.  Feeling emotionally low seems to bring out all our negative assumptions and judgements about ourselves. 

It can also bring out our negative assumptions and judgements about other people, but even if our negativity is directed at others and not ourselves directly, it's still an indication of low self esteem. 

CandleThis feels like a strange topic for me to choose, because I'm not a religious person at all.  I decided to write about it because of a feeling I've had recently that the idea of it is starting to mean something to me.  Actually I think it always has in a way.

Perhaps it means different things to different people, and I suspect many people who claim to practice it do not do so in a beneficial or positive way.  My view is that it is a valuable and positive thing to do if you're doing it right, and that religion has nothing to do with it.

In fact, many people like me, wouldn't even call it prayer, but as much as I'm uncomfortable with the actual word because of its religious connotations, I think that's actually what it is.

So what am I talking about? What is this thing which is often called prayer?

Two children looking at a bookI am in my bedroom working on the notebook (I think we don't call them laptops any more because you can't actually put them on your lap because it blocks the air hole thingy and they can catch on fire) computer (thanks Santa) and listening to my 4 year old boy pretend to read a story from a book to his 3 year old sisters, but which he is really making up.  He's doing voices, and probably actions.  He is quoting the characters, saying " and then he said....."

The bits I can make out are all about how the characters are feeling.  There was a lot of "angry angry angry" a minute ago, and now they're all happy and laughing.  He's throwing in some phrases like "and theeeen", and "the end", but the story seems to keep going after the end.

Now he's moved onto some songs, like I'm a Little Teapot, This Old Man, with back up from the girls, and arguing about the lyrics.

They're supposed to be asleep of course; it's gone half past eight, and my goodness I need my reading glasses.
Scanning room to locate them.  Distance vision much better than close.  Separate article to discuss reading glasses - health category perhaps.

Anyway, point of this post is that your life as a parent just happens to you while other things are going on.  It's nice to stop and enjoy it sometimes.

 

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Anshula Ohri, Toronto,
Canada

"Before I met Yvette I had many opportunities in front of me but I was feeling overwhelmed and I had no confidence in making the decisions.  I was feeling stuck and confusedd.  My career has progressed in a positive direction and I am now functioning better in physical and emotional health.  Thank you Yvette for your help.  This was one of the best decisions I have ever made."

 

Sarah Grudzien,
Melbourne, Australia

"The coaching with Yvette was very beneficial. In just a few weeks I had achieved so much. I am so thankful. I found Yvette to be very patient, professional and reassuring. I would definately recommend NLP now that I have seen the difference it has made to my life. I have left the past in the past and I am happier within myself."

Gemma,
Western Australia

"Your belief in me gave me the confidence to work out ways of improvement, knowing how important it is that these answers be found by me within me to enable them to be so powerful and successful. I loved the CD you sent as your voice is so easy to listen to and reassuring as it imparts great words of wisdom and strengthens the concepts taught within your life coaching sessions. These life skills are amazing!"

Lynne from Lowood,
Queensland, Australia

"I consider myself very fortunate having chosen Yvette for coaching.  It has turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. I started from a place where I was stuck in procrastination and everything seemed so overwhelming that I didn't really know where to start.  I love the freedom and empowerment I now feel.  Yvette's methods are personalised and very effective.  I have looked forward to every coaching sesssion."

Heather
Melbourne, Australia

"Yvette is a great coach who inspires you to overcome the obstacles that she finds in working with you.  She is highly motivated and has worked hard to increase her knowledge in many areas that in turn help her clients.  Yvette draws on her own real life experience adn studies to help those of us who have to juggle many responsibilities and mangage the conflicts in thinking that come from that.  I am looking forward to working with Yvette again in the near future"

Liz Jarvis, CSI Business Solutions, 
NSW, Australia

"Through my coaching experience with Yvette I was able to shift my awareness onto my value system as opposed to staring at my circumstances each day and feeling pulled in a hole.  It's powerful because I want meaning, I want to live up to my values and what's right and good for me!  So, I truly learned the value of letting go and receiving the abundance of knowledge for every situation that gives life, love and meaning to who I am and what I can do, with this fearless self awareness."

Keri, 
New York, USA

"Yvette.  Many thanks for a wonderful experience... Our sessions were productive, really interesting adn I so looked forward to them each week with anticipation of what I can learn about myself and my behaviours.  Every session seemed to flow right on topic of what was present in my relaity at the time and your effortless guiding of my strategies never ceased to amaze me.  I highly recommend you as a life coach and thank you again for the experience."

M Shears, 
Melbourne, Australia

"I really questioned my future career ambitions and thanks to Yvette I changed direction from something I felt I had to do, to something I know I will love to do.  I was stuck on this topic for quite some time and Yvette really helped me shed light on this.  I changed the MBA I signed up for and feel excited about my careeer and all the opportunities in the future."

Sabine Mascarenhas, 
Wollongong, Australia