Pregnancy and Birth

Misplaced Your Mojo?

 woman sml

Talk to Yvette about Revitalizing Your Life.

Click below to book your free consultation.

 

Organized for Life eBook


Free Yourself from Mental and Physical Clutter.

Take Control of Your Home, Your Time and Your Life.

 

US $24.95 Instant Download

Pregnant womanTalking to people about childbirth, as I often do whenever the opportunity comes up, I have found many people don’t understand the nature of the pain we experience during labour.

Men often feel fear, frustration, and worry for their partner.  Wishing there was something they could do to help her, and feeling useless is a common comment..

When speaking to women who are pregnant with their first child, their fear of the pain of childbirth is often made worse by not really understanding the nature of it.

So I like to take the opportunity to explain my experience and understanding of it to expectant parents, hopefully without being intrusive or boring them too much.

My own fear of childbirth pain, when I was expecting my first child, is the same thing I have often heard pregnant women tell me.  I knew that the labour pains were caused by the contractions of the uterus, but I was more afraid of the head crowning than anything else.

Why is this?  We know that labour can go on for hours.  It might be 3 hours or 24 hours.  For me it was always around 12 hours.  We just don’t know how long it will take unless we submit to having it escalated with Syntocinon (don’t get me started – actually, I’ll be writing about that separately).  And the actual head crowning and birth part, second stage, may only take half an hour or 20 minutes or so.

My theory is that we see our uterus contracting as being a pain we might be familiar with, which really does us no harm.  We may have experienced period cramps, or at least heard of them, and we may imagine that labour contractions are really just an intense kind of cramp which we must endure as our cervix slowly softens and opens.  I was not really scared of that part during my first pregnancy.

But the crowning of the baby’s head, well the idea of it, can be much more frightening.  Things can happen.  We can tear or graze.  It can sting.  We are pushing something through a space it does not seem to be meant to fit through, and that could cause damage, and therefore more pain.  And that stinging, that sounds really bad, doesn’t it.

What I want everyone to know who needs to know, is that it’s the contractions which are the most painful part of labour.  Yes, it’s pain, I don’t call them rushes like Ina May Gaskin, much as I worship her.  It sure felt like pain to me.  It hurts. 

But as some very wise midwives told me, it’s pain with a purpose, it’s good pain.  You could associate it with pain from exercising, pain which is doing you good, not harm.  Looking at it this way does help with accepting it.  Accepting it and encouraging it to continue to it’s ultimate conclusion is the way through to the hopefully joyous part of the whole experience.  Many women have described being able to alter their perception of how contractions feel by means of the attitude they adopt towards them.

Getting through those contractions is a major achievement, and a well managed second stage, hopefully with a smart and experienced midwife guiding you through it correctly, is much less painful and distressing than those contractions. 

If you do feel a slight sting, it does not necessarily mean any damage at all, and is more a discomfort than a pain compared with what you have just been through.

What I really want to get across here, is that second stage can be easily and very well managed, and is not generally significantly painful compared with the contractions of the uterus as our cervix is opening. 

Understanding this through lengthy discussions with my midwives and other mothers, reading good books, and eventually my own personal experience, made a huge difference to my ability to cope with giving birth.

Sure, when I got to the transition stage, where it is almost time to push, I have declared that I am over it, can’t do it, want to stop now and so on.  A midwife who knows her stuff recognizes this, and uses it to reassure the mother that this means the worst is over and we’re getting to the good bit.

Removing, reducing or minimizing fear of labour and birth for expectant mothers is vitally important.  We can do this through better information and sharing our experiences with each other. 

Comments   

#1 Teresa 2010-06-09 07:24
Very well said, and I agree, a good midwife makes ALL the difference :-) Great blog!

Add comment


Security code
Refresh

Testimonials


"I am grateful to Yvette for the changes that she has facilitated in me. I feel that my learning from Yvette will stay with me for the rest of my life, and has brought me to a brighter, positive more confident and happy place in my family and work life."

Anshula Ohri, Toronto,
Canada

"Before I met Yvette I had many opportunities in front of me but I was feeling overwhelmed and I had no confidence in making the decisions.  I was feeling stuck and confusedd.  My career has progressed in a positive direction and I am now functioning better in physical and emotional health.  Thank you Yvette for your help.  This was one of the best decisions I have ever made."

 

Sarah Grudzien,
Melbourne, Australia

"The coaching with Yvette was very beneficial. In just a few weeks I had achieved so much. I am so thankful. I found Yvette to be very patient, professional and reassuring. I would definately recommend NLP now that I have seen the difference it has made to my life. I have left the past in the past and I am happier within myself."

Gemma,
Western Australia

"Your belief in me gave me the confidence to work out ways of improvement, knowing how important it is that these answers be found by me within me to enable them to be so powerful and successful. I loved the CD you sent as your voice is so easy to listen to and reassuring as it imparts great words of wisdom and strengthens the concepts taught within your life coaching sessions. These life skills are amazing!"

Lynne from Lowood,
Queensland, Australia

"I consider myself very fortunate having chosen Yvette for coaching.  It has turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. I started from a place where I was stuck in procrastination and everything seemed so overwhelming that I didn't really know where to start.  I love the freedom and empowerment I now feel.  Yvette's methods are personalised and very effective.  I have looked forward to every coaching sesssion."

Heather
Melbourne, Australia

"Yvette is a great coach who inspires you to overcome the obstacles that she finds in working with you.  She is highly motivated and has worked hard to increase her knowledge in many areas that in turn help her clients.  Yvette draws on her own real life experience adn studies to help those of us who have to juggle many responsibilities and mangage the conflicts in thinking that come from that.  I am looking forward to working with Yvette again in the near future"

Liz Jarvis, CSI Business Solutions, 
NSW, Australia

"Through my coaching experience with Yvette I was able to shift my awareness onto my value system as opposed to staring at my circumstances each day and feeling pulled in a hole.  It's powerful because I want meaning, I want to live up to my values and what's right and good for me!  So, I truly learned the value of letting go and receiving the abundance of knowledge for every situation that gives life, love and meaning to who I am and what I can do, with this fearless self awareness."

Keri, 
New York, USA

"Yvette.  Many thanks for a wonderful experience... Our sessions were productive, really interesting adn I so looked forward to them each week with anticipation of what I can learn about myself and my behaviours.  Every session seemed to flow right on topic of what was present in my relaity at the time and your effortless guiding of my strategies never ceased to amaze me.  I highly recommend you as a life coach and thank you again for the experience."

M Shears, 
Melbourne, Australia

"I really questioned my future career ambitions and thanks to Yvette I changed direction from something I felt I had to do, to something I know I will love to do.  I was stuck on this topic for quite some time and Yvette really helped me shed light on this.  I changed the MBA I signed up for and feel excited about my careeer and all the opportunities in the future."

Sabine Mascarenhas, 
Wollongong, Australia